Our family lives in plenty of luxury but people who really know our situation sees me as someone who’s fairly frugal. “Why do you sacrifice to save when you can afford more?” is a question my friends often ask me. It’s a pretty pointed question, but what they really want to know is how they can motivate themselves to save more since putting money away seems like such a chore. Do you see saving money as a sacrifice too and want to know why I do it naturally?
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Of course you can.
If celebrity culture is teaching us anything, it is that yes, you can have lots of money and still be miserable, so miserable in fact that you ruin your life with addictions, even lose your life to them.
I recently watched an interesting movie on DVD, Meet Bill. Not a masterpiece but certainly entertaining and also thought-provoking. The guy, Bill, married into a rich family. He works in the family business, lives a life of luxury, and you would think he has a great life – except that his father in law, his brother in law and his wife all disrespect him. He’s bored, unfulfilled, miserable, and desperately wants to make it on his own.
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Money is such a complicated subject because there are so many emotions around it. Most of the decisions we make concerning it are personal, and therefore affect us in a personal way. The way we view money is influenced by our upbringing, culture, family, friends, and relationships.
Our past directly relates to our money mindset and our ability to conceive what money can and cannot do.
For most of my life, I grew up thinking that money wasn’t very special. I didn’t go as far to say it was the root of all evil, but I did adopt several money mindsets that I’m dealing with today.
For one, I’ve grown accustomed to the starving artist mindset — that any sort of creative work will leave you broke and just barely getting by. Now that I’ve seen that existence for myself, I wonder, was it me, or did I actually set myself up for that life?
I’ve also been uncomfortable around the idea of wealth. In my mind it equates to greed, and privilege. To believe in wealth feels like a rejection of working class roots, and who wants to reject where they came from?
“Money does not buy happiness.”
How many times have you heard this? Lots of times, I am willing to bet. Our culture sends us two very conflicting messages about money. The first, a message that tells us money is everything. Celebrity culture, the rich and famous, Wall Street greediness, the twinge of jealousy we feel when we see a house bigger than ours, a car newer than our car.
Then, there’s the completely opposite message, the one that treats wealth – and the wealthy – with suspicion, that works hard to teach us NOT to envy them, to see the limitations that wealth has and the potential trouble it can cause. In some families, it gets to the point of feeling that money is somehow dirty, that it’s not a proper topic for conversation, that flaunting what you’ve got is tacky and that being poor is almost a virtue.
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When you live on the other side of the country from your extended family, it’s a special treat when they come to spend a few weeks with you for the first time. Not only do you get to spend quality time together, but you get to show them your neck of the woods and play the role of tour guide for a change. Hosting and introducing the family to your state or region may be fun, but it can also be really expensive — especially if you’re used to living frugally.
If you have out-of-town family visiting this summer, here are some practical ways to address the financial strain it might create without letting it stress you out or take away from enjoying the time you have with your guests.
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Encouraged by my dear husband’s post on How to Save Money on Weddings last week, I’m going to dive deeper into wedding invitations and in particular, whether you should buy or create your own. For many of us budget folks, this is one of the easiest ways to save some money but obviously, we need to decide whether we have the time and skill to create a wedding invitation. In addition, ask yourself these questions:
- Are you or your fiancée a creative person?
- Do you (and your fiancée) usually enjoy hand crafting?
- Could your siblings or close friends help?
- Do you have a good sense of design, especially creating something from scratch?
- Do you have a tight budget on wedding invitations?
If most of your answers to the questions listed above are “yes”, you are a good candidate to create your own wedding invitations, and in the process save about 30% to 40% than ordering from stores.
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