I have noticed the way I spend money has changed. Not only am I spending less, but I feel pressured to not spend even for necessities. In put it in short, I think I have changed myself from frugal to cheap.A few weeks ago, I asked everyone whether I should celebrate on my big career accomplishment and slurge. The conclusion was that I ended up not spending a dime because of it. In a way, this is good since I didn’t waste my money on something that I might regret later, but some might say that I have almost gone mad with saving money.
The argument is that I should reward myself for making such a big accomplishment with SOMETHING… ANYTHING. I agree with this somewhat, but when I think of all the things that I want, I just couldn’t get myself to purchasing any of it even though I can comfortably afford it. When I go shop, I don’t look at the features or how it might be useful for me. The most important deciding factor of purchasing something has become the hit it will have on my bottom line.
“I want to retire early” I think to myself but do I really want to retire early and do nothing at home every single day? I know that I will just drive myself crazy if my day was too relaxing (maybe that is a problem in itself).
I feel sad about this. Isn’t the idea of saving money so we have some to spend? During the weekends, all I can think of is how much activity A is and how much activity B will cost. This is totally unhealthy but how do I get out of this? How did I get into this?
This seems to be a problem many people face, or have to deal with. How do we balance the current and future since they both compete for the same pile of wealth? Do you have a systematic approach to this or do you just go off your feel?
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
So, I guess I’m not the only one who feels unnecessarily cheap. I had a bad habit of blowing lots of money on frivolous purchases after I graduated college and entered the workforce, and after a few years of reality set in and having purchased a house a couple years ago, my feelings towards saving and investing have changed dramatically – for the better. So much so that I am also having the same feelings of being cheap, but I don’t look at that as being a bad thing – just the contrary.
Because of my newfound frugality, I’ve amassed a small, but respectable cash cushion and investment portfolio and I take tremendous pride in that. In fact, when I come across a windfall, I gladly sock it away into my investments and get just as much if not more satisfaction from that than going out and purchasing a Nintendo that may give me a few months of temporary enjoyment before I get bored with it.
The key for keeping my frugality in check is balance. There are certain purchases that I feel provide a worthwhile value that I really don’t think twice about such as nice dinners with my girlfriend or travel to visit family and friends.
My advice to you is to figure out your priorities and goals and develop a spending/saving plan with those in mind. Simple advice, I know, but it’s worked pretty well for me. Best of luck to you.
Jim: Great to hear that I’m not alone and there is hope!
I am happy to say that I have had nice dinners with my fiancee because of this so maybe I’m not so cheap after all
Good luck to you too and thank you for your advices!
I guess this isn’t really a problem for me yet because I don’t feel I’m at a point in my life where I *can* splurge. I very much feel like I’m “living on the edge” and I worry whether or not I buy a pair of jeans will lead me into a cycle that will have me falling into bankruptcy. I like to think I’m reasonably secure, but with only a very small emergency fund and no non-retirement investments, I still feel like all it would take is a job loss or a serious illness to ruin me financially.
On the other hand, I often what it would be like to HAVE to live with less… so I guess I’m not obsessed with this so much as concerned, as I feel I have the skills to deal with financial shortfalls.
I want to retire early, and for me, I KNOW that’s what I want to do. I am so full of hobbies, and interests, and intellectual curiosity that I often feel stymied by the fact that I spend the best hours of my day at work. So I guess I’m saying I haven’t reached that point yet, because I have a clear final goal in mind and I feel strongly about it.
Lise: Work towards your goal. As long as you have the desire to accomplish this, you will be able to do it.
I used to have this problem, especially when I owned a house in Irvine. What I have found helps is to budget some “play money”. For example, my wife and I budget about $500 a month to do whatever with. We can go out to eat if we feel like it, she can buy some new jeans, I can get a new CD… it doesn’t matter since we already have a budget. This way you don’t need to feel guilty because you are still keeping to your sound budget
Carl: Good advice
$500 a month is a good chunk of money to be able to spend it on anything!
Btw, you mentioned that you used to own a house in Irvine (I’m assuming Irvine, CA). Where do you live now?
MoneyNing:
I sold my house in Irvine, CA and moved with my wife and dogs to Raleigh, NC in spring of 2006. I could see the writing on the wall, and wanted to lock in my profits. I think we will move back to Orange County in a couple of years, but there is no hurry.
Carl: Wow that was probably a better call than any stock will give you
Congratulations on that and hope to see you back in a few years!!!
I go by feel. If I feel like I really need a stress reliever (night out) or a reward (buying a coffee instead of using the company’s free tea) I do it.
Cost is not the same as value. I try to maximize (present happiness + expected future happiness). For example, I could buy really cheap toilet paper (that would make me unhappy many times a day) or I could buy a fancy brand (which would make me unhappy when I pay my grocery bill).
I’m happiest somewhere in between, e.g. good quality on sale for something I need. Or, if I need a new shirt for work, I find one at a good price (relative to the market) which makes me feel like it’s a deal (happy I’m saving), but ABSOLUTELY MUST fit well and make me look great (not just for my self-esteem, but my boss is happy to introduce me to other managers and clients because I make the office look good which helps at salary time).
Like Jim said, saving is only a means to an end not an end in itself.
Andrew: Actually what you said about the clothing is so true. So many of us don’t spend anything on our clothes and we don’t realize how much opportunity we’ve missed to present a good image.
I sometimes even feel that way about food. Could I eat even cheaper? Could I eat less? It’s a hard mindset to get out of sometimes. But the point of saving, is , afterall to increase our quality of life, so it’s important to develop a good quality of life…a happy life (even if it’s on the cheap).
Mrs Micah: I’m not sure if quality of life is the same as a happy life. I think a happy life is more important though!!!
Well I can completely relate to wanting to save up to 505 of your weekly salary. I think to myself well I am here for 40 hours a week every week except Christmas. Public Holidays.I have gotten to the point where I have told myself to stop. In a few years I have managed to save a significant amount of money for my future an amount most can only hope for when they retire. To me it is never enough. I feel gut wrenching guilt when I spend money on myself even for a trip to the salon. Now it has gotten to the point where I have nothing to wear literally as I have worn my expensive levis for so long they have a hole in it. Pretty much everything expensive has worn out at once and I have just reached my goal. I need these things. I am dressing like I am poor when it is the exact opposite. Its gotten to the point that I feel anxious and un deserving for something I have worked so hard for. So now I am trying to un do my harsh ways and get a healthy balance because this isn’t healthy. I don’t need to punish myself. The voice in my head is saying try harder don’t be so weak. So I am making myself fo these expensive purchases this weekend so I don’t have people pittying me. Ultimately it is my fault for letting it get to this extent. So to all those stresser you do deserve to have nice things for the amount of work you put in. If you have already put away enough for the year that you esitmated give yourself a break. Dont go without clohes. Enjoy life, live happy, if buying that nice dinner out will relieve a bit of the daily grind stress do it. Find a balance