For readers of this blog, you will notice that my net worth is about $110,000 right now. For many, this is a very large sum of money. However, the goal of having 1 million is just so far away. I have been saving much money this past year, but I’m losing motivation right now.
Over the weekend, my fiancé and I went to see a possible place for our ceremony (a cruise). The bottom line is that it will cost us $15,000 for about 100 people. On top of that, we will be visiting my sister’s wedding overseas (around $3000 for 2 tickets + hotel). This is a big chunk of change I will need to spend in September.
Early next year, we will be visiting my fiancé’s parents in Taiwan, which will again cost around the same $3000.Later that afternoon, we went to look at houses. We live in California, and as many of you know, houses here cost around $600k-$700k. I realized that I just cannot afford a house that I will like.
I’m thinking to myself that I have saved diligently from a very young age. I’m 27 right now and my salary is above average by a good margin. When it gets down to actually having money to spend however, I feel poor.
I cannot afford a house, and I feel really pressured to spend the money that I will need to spend over the next 12 months. All this and I know there might be a kid coming to my life (another huge expense). Don’t get me wrong, I do want to have a child with my love one, but I just cannot afford the money (nor the time) right now in my life. I understand that you only get married once (hopefully), and there is only one “first house purchase” in your life time, but I just feel like there are way too many money outflows coming in my life soon.
I feel really pressured and I am losing motivation a bit. I hope to re-gain my motivation and enthusiasm I had in saving money when I first started to see my net worth jump every month. Wish me luck.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
I know exactly where you’re coming from… even though I will only be starting work in July, good education means that I’ll have an above average salary, but looking for places to rent in London is just simply frustrating. Whenever I come across a property I would like, it’s twice my budget…
The trick probably is to let money rule your life (I’m trying hard to listen to this myself…). You’re getting married, so you should embrace that rather than getting depressed about the amount of money it involves. In fact, you could even use it as a motivation to put away some extra money to make up for these upcoming expenses. That way, it won’t hurt your networth as much, and you can still enjoy it!
The trick is to *not* let money rule your life. Unfortunate typo!
I think the “not let money rule your life” is what I need. Honestly, I was so motivated this past year that I don’t really feel like I can save much more than what I have already done. I was able to save about half of pre-tax salary the past year and I have to pay for my own living so I was pretty proud of myself! However, I guess it is just getting a little old since I see the networth going up but at the end there’s so much money that I have to spend that I feel like most of my efforts are wasted since all the money will be used to get married, put in a down payment etc.
Successful people are successful because of the choices they make in similar situations.
As a possibility, see if you can trim some of those costs for the wedding. All these expenses may be a temporary setback, but don’t let it deter you from your real goal.
Also, feel blessed that you have the money to use if necessary. Not everyone can say that.
-limeade
Limeade,
You are right! I should feel happier that I at least have the choice to decide whether or not I want to pay for it.
Thanks!
Very often, we love to impress people around us and end up spending more than what we can afford. These people are the same ones who care a hoot when we are in deep dumps (financially /emotionally or whatever else).
Think carefully if you really want to spend so much to get married. I have seen many people start their married life deep down in debt. Its especially true in Singapore. They splurge 10-20K on getting married at a posh hotel and other ceremonies. End up blowing their liquid savings and even dip into some of their investments.
All this for what? I ask them. They honestly have no answer to that. Its the trap to “keep face in the society” that they fall into. You can still get married, have a small ceremony with friends and family and if you look hard, am sure you will find a good house at a bargain. Keep looking around.
Btw, i dont believe in the saying “do not let money rule your life”. It should. Go to the shop and your emotions and love buys you nothing. What i believe is that “be practical when it comes to money”. As long as you know how to strike a balance between life and money, it will be good.
All the best. Btw, for a 27 year old, you are doing great. Cheers.
IMHO
When you successfully show off – it only sows contempt. Real success comes from making others feel good about themselves.
Thanks for the advices and encouragement! I will discuss with my fiance and see how we can come up with a solution.
yes, these events will always be in your life! Your own wedding, friends’ weddings, bridal showers, baby showers – visit the in-laws etc!!!! Family and friends are important no doubt, but i personally have put a stop to it all and have been selective and have given in other ways by donating to a non-profit tax deductible org of their choice instead of a ‘material gift’ etc.
I am all about being in love – but spending an outrageous amount to celebrate it, breaks my heart and would my budget! Reach out to culinary cooking students who would like to cater for experience – you pay for the food and give them a little stipend. Find a amateur videographer, photographer etc. There are ways to cut back. Money SHOULD in some way influence your decisions. Just remember – there are going to be setbacks, it’s how you handle them that determines your success!
i know exactly how you feel.
sometimes I wish I just pack up and move to some place cheaper.
I have a rental property near a gorgeous lake just south of salt lake city utah. My mortgage payments on that that 1800 sqft house on a quarter acre is about $1250/mo. Thats less than my rent on a 920 sq ft condo in san diego!
I could theorectically sell the house and use the money to upgrade my lifestyle, but that doesn’t fit in the long term view of things.
I think prices in California will eventually become affordable for you. just keep on hanging in there, doing what you’re doing and maybe in 3-4 years you be in a good position.
Maybe prices will correct or your salary will go up but unaffordable house prices are not sustainable indefinitely.
And try not to spend $15k on a wedding. see if you can shave that down to $10k instead.
and my goal isn’t too save up for stuff like buying a house, its to increase my passive cashflow so i can replace working for a living.
currently my goal is to generate $3k/mo so i never have to worry about being employed. So far i’m not very close!
Thanks for the encouragement. It must be nice to have a rental property that can cover the mortgage. I can only dream this since I don’t even own a house, never mind a rental property.
California housing prices are crazy right now, but at least they seem to be coming down. Hopefully in the coming months, it will come down even more before I take the plunge.
As for the 10k instead of 15k part, please see my new post about an update on my wedding!
3k/mo is a very good goal. It’s always good to have a goal to work for. Hopefully you can reach your goal soon.
Why do you have to have a wedding on a cruise????? We rented a picnic shelter in a state park and had a potluck supper and got off for a few hundred dollars. We weren’t ashamed to show our friends we were strapped for cash and didn’t want to sponge off our parents.
I don’t know what your salary but 100k sounds pretty good for age 27. That’s irrelevant once you’re married though–all that matters is combined net worth. WSJ article on Yahoo! recently said you need something like 25 times your annual salary in savings to retire, which sounds impossible, but they made the point that once you get to 2x salary it gets a lot easier because compounding starts to do the heavy lifting. That was my experience–things took off when we got to 2x salary. We were very lucky that that coincided with the second half of the 1990’s bull market, but in 1999 and every year since 2003 I’ve made more money from investing than I have from salary (though generally not as much as our combined salary). Our standard of living has not improved dramatically, so our net worth is much higher than I would have dared to hope 15 years ago. Not trying to brag, just pointing out you’re in good shape if you can protect your nest egg.
Houyhnhnm: No I’m not saying that we “have” to have a wedding on a cruise, but it would be nice to let my fiancee do something nice since this is a once in a life time event (hopefully) for us.
I guess my networth is not bad but I don’t want to think about the “compared to others for my age” issue since I want to gain as much wealth as possible.
I agree that I need to work on capital preservation since much of my assets are in stocks right now.
It sounds like you are doing pretty well with your stock trading! Good for you!
> Houyhnhnm: No I’m not saying that we “have” to have a wedding on a cruise, but it would be nice to let my fiancee do something nice since this is a once in a life time event (hopefully) for us.
Well then I can see why you were discouraged when you wrote the original post. Your #1 passion, at least in public, is to save money. Spending $15k on a wedding because it’s nice is a major setback to your financial goals, and it looks to me like it’s raising a major conflict in values. When we’re trying to save there is a constant conflict between long-term goals and short-term desires, but usually this conflict plays out over more manageable sums of money (like CDs or clothes), not $15k expenditures.
> I guess my networth is not bad but I don’t want to think about the “compared to others for my age” issue since I want to gain as much wealth as possible.
OK, I was just trying to be encouraging.
> It sounds like you are doing pretty well with your stock trading! Good for you!
Actually I’m still learning how to trade/invest in stocks (been trying at least 13 years). So far I’ve only made money in mutual funds and ETF’s.
> Your #1 passion, at least in public, is to save money.
I wouldn’t say it’s #1 but it’s one of the top ones. On another note, I actually can’t pinpoint anything I will say is clearly my #1 passion. I do care about money tremendously though (I think everyone can tell about from my writing)
> Spending $15k on a wedding because it’s nice is a major setback to your financial goals, and it looks to me like it’s raising a major conflict in values.
I’m glad that the conflict is more within myself than my values vs my fiancee’s. I think in general, I tend to give in because it ends up being easier to do. I always thought that it’s better to do something and regret it than not to do something and regret it, so going for the nice wedding to fit this theory of mine.
There really isn’t a right answer for this, so that’s why the decision is hard.
> …but usually this conflict plays out over more manageable sums of money (like CDs or clothes), not $15k expenditures.
Same for me too but I’m at the stage in my life where I have to make these decisions.
> OK, I was just trying to be encouraging.
I greatly appreciate this!
> Actually I’m still learning how to trade/invest in stocks (been trying at least 13 years). So far I’ve only made money in mutual funds and ETF’s.
It’s hard. I would suggest watching CNBC (not for the recommendations, but to listen to them talking about the market, what other people are saying, the tone of their voice etc since in the end stocks are just pieces of paper people buy or sell (supply and demand applies).
The other things I read are books, websites on investing, trading. I don’t read them to follow it exactly but it gives me ideas or things to “try”. Of course, you need to be more conversative when you try things. I lost my whole years of gain in one day last year, but it always brought me down to earth and taught me a great lesson of not to be greedy.
bah… 15k on a boat?
$300 in Las Vegas and you can have Elvis Presley as a witness!!!!!
You know what they say about marriage… The second one is always easier
J2R: Well, we abandoned the idea of a boat but I’m hoping that I don’t need to know how the second time around is like!
Last night I figured out the root of your problems !!!!!!!!!!
Taiwanese girls are high maintenance!
Try switching to mainland girls
Good luck with your wedding bro
J2R: Thanks
There are many high maintenance girls from mainland china also so we shouldn’t stereotype!
Anyway, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone but my fiancee.
Nice answer… I assume she reads this blog
J2R: heh thanks. She actually doesn’t read it as often as I would like and I doubt she would go through much past the front page